Sticks and Stones – How Do We React To Being Judged?
Many of us conservative have been called Christian terrorists, conspiracy theorists, right wing nut jobs, even racists, bigots, ignorant, and hypocrites. That’s sooo infuriating, right? Or is it?
You have to consider the source and the attitude of the one hurling the insult before choosing to be insulted or not.
If someone comes at me with a sincere argument that some attitude of mine is say bigoted or racist they can probably do so with calmly stated evidence. That approach would trigger me to do some earnest soul searching. I may find they’re correct and change my thinking or that they’re wrong and clarify my position. We may end up agreeing or we may not. But we will likely end the discussion in a civil manner.
But if someone just hurls the insult, even if accompanied by angry accusatorial “evidence” the outcome will be different. If I chose to be insulted I might respond with insults of my own. But then there will be no chance for either of our positions to change. No one will be a better person in the end.
Now I’ve made several references to the idea that being insulted is a choice. And I believe it is. So if I have a choice, why would I choose to be insulted? If these labels and accusations are hurled at me, I can quite easily dismiss them. What does being dismissed do to the other guy? It tics them off something fierce. So without a word I’ve accomplished just as much as I would with a big long argument, or perhaps accomplished more. It tics them off because getting a reaction was their goal. They know perfectly well they weren’t going to enlighten me in some way. So let’s not give them the satisfaction.
If we want to point out some bigotry or hypocrisy on their end we can do it calmly and with evidence. If that person has any capacity for self reflection they just might see our point… eventually. I wouldn’t expect an instant enlightenment. Seeds take time to grow. But planting a seed will usually yield more fruit that just throwing them all over the place.
So I chose not to be insulted by these labels or by (sarcasm alert) the deeply well thought out argument that “You haven’t lived here long enough.”
The old adage is true and we all know it: “Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me.” So many in society today insist the opposite and are triggered by “micro-aggressions.”
Let’s not make that our example. In much of this country things have already escalated to Sticks and Stones. But it hasn’t yet done so here. If it does get to that level then I think we’re justified in defending ourselves in kind. Prepare for that day. But let’s not hasten it.
Mark Quinn
Moyie Springs
